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Yup, you read that right.

I finally opened up to the idea of dating again earlier this year, even though I said in late 2023, I don’t think I plan on dating any time soon.

But things happen.

It felt appropriate for me to start putting myself out there. Or at least start being more receptive to the some people that were throwing hints at me.

All of 2023, I was settling in a new city, getting my finances in order, trying to make new friends, and dealing with ALL of my feelings of grief, heartbreak, and depression. I seriously just wasn’t in the headspace to think about dating new people.

As I was writing out my 2024 goals in my private journal, I mentioned that I wanted to continue being solo for the rest of 2024 and see how long that will last.

It wasn’t until February that things started to shift…

the ego boost that helped

I decided to do a solo trip to Denver as a way to celebrate my 35th birthday. To me, it’s a big milestone, and I wanted to pat myself on the back for making these huge changes in my life.

Because I was staying in a hostel, I met a bunch of new people. The beauty of staying at hostels, you get to meet different people of all ages, different backgrounds, and cultures. One of the people that I met at the hostel really caught my eye and immediately in my head I said to myself, “Welp, I guess I definitely have type.”

Tall. Tattoos. Buff. And a beard.

Shuttup, I can’t help it. 😂😅

The hostel actually has a hot tub, so a bunch of us guests soaked in this outdoor hot tub at 11pm while snow was falling down. It was a very cute and beautiful moment as I stared up at the sky. I casually mentioned to everyone in the hot tub that it was my birthday and it was a nice change that it wasn’t a blizzard for once.

Enthusiastically, everyone wished me Happy Birthday, and one of them asked how old I was. So I said, “Let’s play a game and figure out how old I am ^_^”

None of them got it right. One even guessed that I was 19. But they were shocked when I revealed that I turned 35 that day.

Including the guy that I had my eye on that weekend 👀 (which I found out shortly that he was 10 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME)

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I wish I could tell you all that something magical happened on my birthday weekend.

I could say that we flirted in-front of other people. And then we spent time together privately for the rest of the time I was in Denver.

But in truth, nothing did. And I was ok with that.

It wasn’t until afterwards, we both admitted we were physically attracted to each other via Instagram DMs, but that was it.

BUUUT because of that interaction, it gave me the ego boost I probably needed after a long year of not dating or flirting with anyone.

His confession basically made me feel, "oh shit, i still got it 😎"

Even though, I felt a bit rusty in my flirting in our conversation, but it definitely told my “inner goddess” to come out of hibernation and start putting myself out there again. (5 pts if you got that reference)

So thanks for that, if you ever read this 😂

my current dating life now

I knew that when I would be ready to date again, I wouldn’t be SEEKING for dates. I am OPEN to dates if someone asks me out and I am actually interested in them.

If I do have a strong feeling to ask someone else on a date, then I know I can be brave enough to do it.

And if I don’t get good vibes or just simply don’t think it would be a fun time, I'm not afraid to take the rejection or simply decline.

I know my worth now.

I actually deleted all my dating app accounts.

After hearing and reading articles that dating apps have addictive and predatory tactics, I wasn’t for it. I just didn’t feel comfortable sharing my data especially since I only log in every 1 or 2 months at a time.

It toys with the emotions of people who are looking for love. Plus making people pay money to have a simple interaction with a POTENTIAL compatible partner sounds so gross. 

So I said bye-bye to all of them.

I’ve met majority of my past partners through other people or from a social setting, so I have faith that I will meet interesting people to date without the help of the internet.

Am I still a romantic?

Fuck yeah, I am.

Am I dating to marry?

I’m not sure yet. I used to, but things are always changing.

Am I DTF?

If I trust the person enough, yeah, sure why not?

Honesty is what I’m all about right now, and that includes myself in this new chapter of my life. It’s all about communication and being upfront to whoever I meet.

But for now, I’m on this journey of still discovering more about myself. Figuring out my wants, my needs, and what am I looking for in a partner.

I’m happy being a solo person for now and opening myself up to other people who could potentially fill up my cup and meet my needs.

And that should be the way of living a happier life. Single or not.

-jemellee

Thanks for reading!

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