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Happy New Year, reader!

It’s weird to be writing this in the middle of this whole TikTok ban that’s been happening, but I’m currently trying to keep myself occupied and refocusing my energy more onto here and on YouTube for the year 2025. (Author's note: obvi the ban didn't happen anymore)

Knowing my worth in 2024

2024’s word of the year was worth.  In 2023, I chose this word because I was still very much grieving and mourning the loss of everything that I once had. My self-esteem was still low. I was still adjusting to my new life in Chicago. I felt ugly. I felt stupid.

I was extremely lonely because most of the time I didn’t know who to talk to. I felt like a lot of my friends abandoned me or they were busy with their new growing families.

It’s hard to call for help when you’re struggling to keep your head above the water.

With all the self-help books, podcasts, and YouTube videos that I watched that year, the common theme was all about finding love within yourself. I knew what to do, but how the heck do I love myself? And I figured out that loving myself is also knowing my worth.

Knowing my worth was my goal for 2024, and I’m happy to say that I’ve succeeded.

I learned that despite a rough couple of years, I started to remind myself that every positive thing that has happened in my life, I did all of these things on my own:

• I had my dream job which I worked hard to get my foot at the door
• I traveled to cities (Denver, Seattle, Austin) and countries (Brazil, Italy, & France) I never thought I could visit
• I was in a long-term relationship which broke my “curse” of 1-year relationships
• Even though I don't have kids to spoil, I’m proudly claiming my title of Tita Jem and spoiling the heck of my nieces and nephews

Am I still sad that I don’t have everything that I’ve dreamed of? Yeah...

But I was finally able to see all the accomplishments that I’ve achieved before my terrible year. I’ve finally realized that I’ve experienced different kinds of love that weren't just romantic. And I've finally learned what makes me worthy of love and worthy of myself.

As I gained more confidence and learning more about myself in 2024, I started to open up to new things. I have new hobbies. New passions. New goals.

I'm now able to write a brand new chapter for myself as a completely new person.

Finding my word for 2025

Towards the end of 2024, I forgot that I needed to come up with my new word of the year. But this time it came to me very easily this year.

One of the biggest things that I have come to accept and embrace more than ever is my love for Pokémon.

It has always been one of my favorite video games and franchises, but it never really hit me that it’s part of my personality as much as Kingdom Hearts is. I never grew out of it, and despite skipping 2 generations of playing Pokémon, I still find myself squealing whenever I see it pop up in mainstream media.

Volunteering at the zoo also has made me connect the dots that I love animals and living creatures. My curiosity of how animals can instinctually stay alive without the need of humans fascinates me. Whether it be in real-life or virtual.

If you’re unaware of how Pokémon works, the creatures or monsters that you’ll capture, you train them through fights and other methods as you progress in the game. And doing so, they will eventually level up and evolve into another creature. Even though they have changed in appearance and their stats have improved, they’re still that same Pokémon that you first started with.

And that’s how I see myself going into 2025. I’m still the same person. But I’m evolving.

I’m getting stronger and getting better mentally and physically. I'm feeling more confident and happier. I've been more direct and open in my conversations.

I just feel different.

I’ve been changing my appearance by experimenting with different fashion styles and getting out of my comfort zone. I’m trying to take care of my sensitive skin with clean products and even trying to get creative with makeup.

Hell, I’ve even grown out my short undercut hair that I’ve had for 10+ years and reintroduced myself with long hair. A look that my friends haven’t seen since the early days of college.

Overall, I’m still Jemellee. I have evolved since 2022.

I’m not the only one evolving

Another reason why I chose “evolve” as my word of the year is because I’m reminded that nothing stays the same forever. We’re all constantly evolving within our environment, our families, our friends, and so much more.

Change is scary. Trust me, I cried about it a lot.

And when I returned back home to New York this past December, I saw all the changes.

LaGuardia airport had a glow up and it looks beautiful to look at now. Flushing now has a Raising Canes which feels so out of place for it. And East Village has a couple of new restaurants that I don’t recognize anymore, especially now that Jeepney & Maharlika are gone.

With all of these changes, the one thing that will remain the same about NYC is the people that I pass by on a daily basis. It’s the diversity of ages, backgrounds, languages, and faces that you’ll encounter on the train or walking around city.

It’s a vibe that you can’t really replicate in any other city. (Sorry Chicago, it just doesn’t feel the same to me)

So just like Pokémon, the appearance may change but the vibes or the heart will remain the same. Evolving is a natural part of growth, whether we like it or not.

And as much as I want some things to stay the same, I know that everything is different now and we just need to keep moving forward.

-jemellee

If you have one, what's your word of the year? Respond to this email or leave a comment down below!

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